Friday, October 21, 2016

You grow up when you need to?

My cousin, her BF and I were having a celebratory drink the other day and her BF said the most wisest thing - "You only have to grow up when you need to".

 I do consider myself an adult and I am trying my best to think when I started "adulting". I think for me it was when I came to Canada. I think I took it upon myself to support my parents the best way that I could ... and that was not to be a burden on them. I personally never have and never would ask my parents for money. That is something that I cannot bring myself to do. I know everyone's circumstances are different and I do not, in anyway judge people that do take money from their parents. Its a very Asian thing to do .. your parents support you until you get married and then you support them. But I do feel that Asian parents restrict their children from being adults. Am I wrong here? It's almost like they don't want you to be adults,

Anyway for me, my adulting moment was when I was 15 and my dad dropped me off at my very first job at MacDonald's. I knew then and there that I would do whatever it takes to not be a burden on them and make my own way in life... which I have :) since then I have worked at various odd jobs to support myself in high school and also throughout university. I can confidently say now that I am some what of an adult. I still do and say weird things that may seem childish to some, but meh we are all children at heart right?

That is my adulting story .. short and non confrontational .. just the way y'all like it.

Planning a Sri Lankan wedding in Canada ..

So .. I have decided to marry a sudda ... yes yes I know, I know how could I have betrayed my birth land and go over to the "dark side" in this case it is the "light side" (get it ..). Anyway, this decision was made because I took a good look at who I am and realized that I could not possibly be with a Sri Lankan man. Not that there is anything wrong with Sri Lankan guys (even though my blog would say otherwise lol) but I think it comes down to personal preference. I prefer to be with a sudda, maybe because of my own inner struggle of thinking that I have to choose between being Sri Lankan or Canadian. This way, everything balances out, I can be Sri Lankan and he can be Canadian and together we are the best of both worlds! Honestly, I don't know how it happened .. but it did! Maybe I didn't want to deal with all the family drama that comes with being married to a Sri Lankan family - but all families are drama right!, maybe I just wanted to be with someone that was more independent and had their life together (us Sri Lankans can never be independent, we are always for many great and bad reasons locked in to our families - a burden that many people of western cultures don't have) or maybe I am just not attracted to Sri Lankan guys anymore. Regardless, the decision has been made! And it's so damn exciting :D

We are in the early stages of planning this as we have sourced some vendors that we would like to work with and have some great venues in mind. I thought that this blog would be a great way to keep myself in check and also update you all on the wedding planning!

I would also, like to thank you all for the wonderful support you have given me over the years and sending me lovely and sometimes not so nice messages my way! lol

That time we went to Iceland!

I went to Iceland in September this year folks! What an absolutely stunning place! Pictures honestly do not do justice!

But please see some pictures below of our epic adventure!

Beautiful isn't it?

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Dominican Republic

I was down in the Dominican this January! So beautiful! Just like Sri lanka .. made me feel like an island girl again!

Monday, March 7, 2016

2016 a Different Type of Year

I realized that I haven't written anything on here for ages .. looking back at the posts i've made year after year made me really want to cringe with embarrassment argh! But I am not going to delete any of the post because I feel like those thoughts and experiences really formed who I am today.

So .. as you know I am dating a white fella now. I shall call him Jay. My parents are cool with this arrangement now and I actually got to meet his parents and siblings as well. Meeting his parents was so easy! His family was so nice and welcoming. Initially,  his mom didn't like me because she always wanted his little boy to get married to a nice, white christian girl .. (Sorry mom!). But now she has gotten accustomed to the idea that her little boy might just end up with a nice-ish, brown, Buddhist girl instead.

When he came and met my parents it was a whole different story .. we cleaned the house top to bottom, made sure that there were like a billion candles lit every where to get rid of any curry smells lol and made sure that there was some white food to eat. My parents were super nice to him even though I knew deep inside that they were uncomfortable talking to a Sudda. I really didn't want to put my parents in an uncomfortable position .. but unfortunately i just happened to fall in love with a very white, very nice Canadian guy. My parents respect that he has accomplished so much and that he has his "shit together". I think that was the biggest thing for me .. to be with someone that knows what they want in life and has goals for themselves. As hard as it is for them to tell their friends and family that their daughter is with a sudda I think the stigma of all that will go away within time. I know some relatives and friends in Sri Lanka will never understand and that they will never accept this .. but it is the choice that I have made for myself. For the better or for worse.

I dont know what I have done to deserve parents as loving and as accepting as mine. I am just truly blessed! I know that many Sri Lankan parents would just reject the idea and not even entertain their daughter or son being with a Sudda.

Like I have said before this blog is about my internal struggle of trying to fit in .. am I Sri Lankan? am I Canadian? I think me dating both a Sri Lankan and a Canadian guy truly justify the internal struggle that I face as a first generation immigrant. I guess I have spent most of my life not in Sri lanka .. so does that make me a Sudda as well? Kalu sudda to be more accurate .. meh the struggle goes on ..

More "being with a Sudda" posts to come I guess .. its been interesting so far!